Break The 6 Barriers to Effective Communication in Marriage

Before you plan a multicultural family vacation like I did, twice, think it through. The first time Tom’s French parents met my American parents was the summer after we got married. We all decided to spend a week together down in Provence and Tom and I would act as unofficial translators. We figured a week together under the same roof will either have us all hating each other or we’d have the time of our lives. Luckily, it turned out to be the latter, but I’d be lying if I said there were no hiccups along the way. Here are some tips on how to have a smooth multicultural experience for when the foreign in-laws meet.

  • This former Marketing Manager came across Positive Psychology during her Master’s degree and it had a profound effect on her.
  • You won’t ever find a quick fix to communicating with your partner that will work everytime.
  • Barriers to effective communication can distort the message.
  • Give yourself plenty of time to get to know your partner and their culture and language.
  • There ought to be some misunderstandings in the beginning.

We can identify one’s love language based on how they communicate their love with you and how they react when they are in the receiving end. I know my mother’s love language is service because whenever I assist her with stuffs such as dishes or laundry, she will keep talking about it. When I want to improve the quality of my relationship with her, all I need to do is offering some help whenever her hands are full. Most early written communication happened through pictograms. Pictograms are graphical symbols that convey meaning by visually resembling real world objects. The first complex pictographic writing system was developed around 3500 BCE by the Sumerians and is called cuneiform. Pictograms are still in use today, like no-smoking signs and the symbols of male and female figures on bathroom doors.

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However, we still use our own experiences to understand others. Our understanding is always somewhat different from what our lover is feeling. To better understand each other, paraphrase what you think your lover is trying to say. This is especially important for the partner who speaks in their native language. Help your lover to express their feelings by paraphrasing their message. Communication was already studied as early as Ancient Greece. Influential early theories are due to Plato and Aristotle, who emphasized public speaking and the understanding of rhetoric.

Assuming the worstdamages, both trust and communication in relationships. Changing how you talk is not easy, but if it is affecting your relationship, you should. There ought to be some misunderstandings in the beginning. No one feels like talking when the other person is scrolling down their Facebook Newsfeed. When you visit your partner’s friends and family, you should communicate before any encounter. Her experience as a psychologist combined with her personal intercultural story allow her to provide the best support for your international life.

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A great technique to improve communication in any personal relationship is Marshall B. Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication. After person A’s 10 minutes are up , person B gets to talk for ten minutes as well, while the same listening rules apply to person A. You will find that 10 minutes is a very long time to listen. As you listen to your partner with empathy and feel what he-she feels, you gain compassion for him-her as a person. You feel for him-her as a human being with personal pain and struggles like the rest of us.

Haley’s top tip for people learning a language for their partner was to focus on general chit-chat and vocab — the kind of conversations about daily life that you’d have with someone in your household. It was also another reason that informal, conversation-based lessons worked better for her than textbook learning.

Communication manner and avoid taking things personally. You can’t translate full conversations all the time, it’s exhausting. You need to underline the fact that the situation is going to be demanding because you don’t understand the language. After a few years with my foreign partner, I can see how we created our own language and how it keeps evolving over time.

The key is to pay attention to how long these moments last and whether or not your partner offers you enough support during them. You are bound to find areas in which you have vastly different opinions. Instead of viewing these as deal breakers, look at some of these moments as learning opportunities. You now have the chance to get an inside view of a culture from someone you trust. You and your partner can also use your differences to become a stronger team unit. Different cultures can express love, and discuss it, in varying ways. Open up a conversation with your partner about what you expect in a loving relationship and how you’d like romance to be expressed.